restless

It may be the summer weather, but I am restless. Ever since school ended, I have been feeling this way. But why? Come to think of it, the feeling cannot be solely because of the summer weather; summer weather has been greatly lacking. I enjoy the cooler temps, so that certainly isn't it. I have this feeling of urgency, of somehow missing something that is to come. I never sleep well, and even when I think I do, I'm still exhausted. There are so many things that I want to accomplish, and yet they never get accomplished because I spend all my time thinking and never doing.

I suppose I have accomplished a few things this summer. I have managed to read a number of books simply for the joy of reading. I have bought the fabric and other supplies to sew my wedding dress. And there are other, smaller, things. But the feeling of restlessness remains. I don't like it, and it's upsetting me.

The sad thing is that part of me knows why I am restless. I don't want to be here. A lot of what I would like to accomplish requires being there, in Wisconsin. I am tired of Illinois, tired of the distance, and tired of the scenery, since I'm being honest. It's not that I don't want to be with my family, or my church family, or my very few friends here.

The time has come for a permanent change of scenery. I just wish December didn't feel so far away.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

I realize that Bob Dylan's song has absolutely nothing to do with the changes in my life, but the title seemed appropriate. So, what's new with my life? Well, I graduated from Concordia University Wisconsin exactly a month ago. I don't quite know how I feel about this yet. It will be so strange come August when I don't have to pack up and move back into the dorms. I have no homework left to do, at least until I begin the work for my MLS degree.

But I have not truly said goodbye to Concordia. After all, in less than six months, I will be wearing my handmade white gown and standing before the altar in the Chapel of Christ Triumphant exchanging vows with my husband-to-be. I swear, I have butterflies just imagining the moment!

Suddenly, the moment does not seem that far away.